What Love Is-And What It Isn't

                      I've been noticing all the commercials over the past few weeks advertising the perfect gift for your Valentine. Most of them are telling us that it takes diamonds or some kind of jewelry to win the affections of a woman's heart. Ok, so women are built for romance. We want to be that special someone, but so many times a man thinks that this is all it takes in order to skip right to the basic fundamentals of a relationship. Men are programmed for the hands on sex, and love doesn't have to be a priority. But this isn't love in the least. How do we know what love is? And better yet, what love isn't?

The vocabulary of a Christian is quite strange to someone who doesn't know Christ in their life. It's rather hard to be bouncing around in the world with no guidance. Instructions for everything are meant to make things easier for us by avoiding unnecessary mistakes. Life without knowing what God has intended for His children is like bouncing off one wall and into another with no direction. How long can we keep this up? No one can deny that we value education and hope that our own children will also desire to have one. There is power in it. But why, is it when it comes to God's instructions for living a successful life, we tune Him out? Really, be honest, how can we expect to know more than the One Who created us? It's not possible...bottom line. In His Book of "Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth" better known as the Bible, we can know exactly what love is and what love isn't. How can you tell if you are truly in love or even better, if your partner truly loves you? Wouldn't you want something in which to compare it to? Is love in the kiss? No. Is it in the way someone looks at you? No. Is it in the way they act towards you? Perhaps, but not necessarily. Let's take a look at some of the ways we can know what love is and what it definitely is not.

Paul the apostle writes about what love is and what it is not in his first letter to the Corinthians. Paul addressed the church at Corinth with the hopes of trying to break them away from their carnality and immaturity. They were worldly and didn't want to give up the world around them. They couldn't break away from their old habits of selfishness, immorality and pagan worship. Paul found it necessary to write to them and correct this as well as remind them of their faithfulness to Christ. He had to make it known to them that as Christians, they had to break off outside relationships with disobedient and unrepentant members. Not only that, but to put these people out of the church! We would never expose ourselves to this kind of behavior today. But this is precisely why we need to know the true facts. We aren't hurting people if they aren't followers of Christ, but we are hurting ourselves and our love walk with Him by compromising. Love for Jesus should not be made subjective, but rather, objective. We can not compromise our love for Christ by subjecting ourselves to hearing and doing the wrong doctrine. He is our main objective in this love walk, it's not how much respect and popularity we win from others that matters. It's what we do for Him that counts. In our true Christian love walk, our actions will reflect Him and this is what others will come to recognize as true love. It certainly does extend into our marriages, our families, and to everyone around us. Our love can not be bought, but rather it can and should be given away freely, with no strings attached. If you are expecting something in return for your love or visa versa, it could be time to examine this relationship. This is not the kind of love that God designed for us.

Paul wrote to the Corinthians about all their good deeds, but if they had the wrong motives, it was not love.

"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging symbol." 1 Corinthians 13:1

Paul went on to say that even if he had the gift of prophecy and knew all the mysteries and had all the knowledge in the world and even the faith to move mountains but didn't have love, he was nothing. If he gave everything that he owned and fed the poor and volunteered to be murdered, if he didn't have love it would still be for nothing. The Corinthians were puffed up in arrogance and pride and it plagued the church. We should not strive to have the gifts of prophecy or speaking in tongues just to make ourselves look spiritual, rather like the Corinthians we should be concerned with having love, love for one another.

So exactly what then is love? Or better yet, what isn't love? Paul tells us these answers when he continues in the 4th verse of the 13th chapter. Do we honestly understand what real love is in our own lives?

Here is what love is:

Love is...patient and kind. How can we say we love someone if we get easily frustrated and treat them with disrespect?

Love is...rejoicing in the truth. Is it possible to love someone and deliberately lie to them?

Love is...bearing all things. That means putting up with each other's faults. No one is perfect.

Love is...believing all things. It doesn't mean we have doubt about someone. We should be able to take what someone says at face value. It is trust.

Love is...hopeful in all things. It's knowing that everything will work out for the best.

Love is...enduring. That means it puts up with the little things that drive us crazy.

Love is...never failing. Love is real when it can stand up to all these things. It looks for the best in others and brings these things out.

And here is how we know it isn't love:

Love is not...bragging or arrogant. We should never puff ourselves up or put someone else down.

Love is not...acting unbecomingly. It isn't embarrassing someone or treating them wrong in any way.

Love is not...seeking its own. You don't have to draw attention to yourself to find love.

Love is not...provoked. If you are threatened by anyone for any reason, it's not love.

Love is not...a score keeper. No one should ever keep an account of things that were done wrong in order to be used against someone else one day. Forgiveness is a virtue.

Love is not...happy with anything that is not righteous. God's love is righteous and He made us to be like Him.

Love is having an attitude of loving what God loves and hating what God hates. How can you say you love God and hate someone? His Word says this is not possible. He calls that person a liar. Or how can you tell a person you love them and don't know God? In order to know what love is, we need to know The Person Who created it. Love by our own standards will not stand up to the tests of time. Love in human terms is abstract. It has no foundation except what is pleasing to our mind, our will and our emotions. Our body and our soul can and will lie to us unless we seek spiritual truth according to God's Word. Love on God's terms is not abstraction, but an action. We put it into motion. True love is glorifying Christ. We are to love others the same way He loves us.







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Sacred Love - 22 Suggestions That Will Turn the Tide in Your Life and the Lives of Anyone

                          Love is the most universally sought, most profoundly cherished, the most humanly pursued element in the universe. Yet, it is the most abused, misunderstood, undervalued commodity in all of human existence. Why? Why, because we are all totally stupid, we can't even separate emotion from love. We think nice is loving, we think good is lovable. No wonder relationships are getting shorter. How do we deal with this?

Here are 22 suggestions that will turn the tide in your life and the lives of anyone who chooses to read and follow them...

Rule One...Live with Love

One day, you look up, and there it is, the most beautiful sight your eyes have ever seen. You are lost, swept away, there is no choice, it happens. In that one brief moment in time you are in love. The most beautiful experience of life and in that moment you are changed forever. Nothing happened to cause it. You fell. When you least expected it, there before your eyes, the eternity opened, you fell into love. Whether it lasts one second, one week or a lifetime this love is precious, a treasure to be absolutely revered.

Rule Two...Be with Love

In the whole of the universe, every molecule has a place, a role, a gift. If you can just be thankful for what you have, for the blessing of life itself, to remind yourself of how lucky you are, then your whole life would change in just that one acknowledgement. We complain about love only because we expect more and more. But we forget how lucky we are. Once you see the gift of your life, your heart will open again, your youthfulness will shine, your energy becomes infectious and your health just takes a leap. Music sounds different and life, like a springtime flower, just opens, and opens and opens. Stay humble to the gift and count your blessings.

Rule Three...A Partnership with Love

Sacred Love means falling in love forever, you'll see stars and moons and heavens every night you choose, nothing can stop you, nothing can get in your way and your lover will be magnetized, because you will have a purpose to share, greater than the both of you. The Universal Laws of nature, let your arms fold around the heart of your lover, and feel the absolute delight of a love that can last forever. Feel in love forever, like there's no tomorrow or yesterday or today. Inspired, you let your love become a moonbeam to forever, and let dreams be dreams all day. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your love is too precious to be sacrificed defending menial emotions, like hate, jealously, and envy. Your life is fragile, to stay open in love, guard it carefully. Only the universe of Nature can create the magnificence of a flower, but any foolish mind can pull it to pieces.

Rule Four...Power your life with Love.

You are born to love. Without the power of love, we can only follow our ego and the desires of the world. Make love a priority. Without the centering power of Love recognized by the heart, we suffer fragmentation, dispersion in the multiplicity. To work on transforming the ego can be a tedious and discouraging process. To contain it with laws and codes is temporary and synthetic. But if we bring the ego, the intellect, and the emotions into the boundlessness of the heart, this places them in a truer context. To view them apart from the heart is to view them in a partial or distorted context. Much of our human foolishness is the result of our mind and feelings. Being divorced from our hearts, divorced from our love. An essential practice is to bring the mind down into the heart, to submerge it in the heart space, and therefore to bring reason and heart into unity.

Rule Five...Grow with Love Everyday

Grow your love every day. Whenever you make a mistake or feel downed by love, don't look back at it too long. Learn to move it to love. Challenges are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity to love through challenge is inseparable from your capacity to reach the higher heights of love. There is always another challenge, and your downers, when they happen, are just part of your sacred opportunity, given by your creator, for growth. Grow through your challenges. Nobody does to you more than you do to yourself. Never quit. Love is there, never walk away without love in your heart.

Rule Six...Celebrate Life with Love

Grow from life. Search for the balance of good in every adversity and for adversity in every good. Master these universal laws of nature, even this one principle of balance and you will own a precious light, a light that turns any blockage into love, a truth that will guard your commitment to love. Never be right, will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without challenge. There is always a balance, and in finding that balance you thrive.

Rule Seven...Healing with Love

Let your actions speak for your heart, act with love. Be always on guard against the traps of the ego, righteousness, false pride and blame. These can halt your progress. Take a view point from nature, the next time you think you "know best" go to the beach, remove one single grain of sand, look back at the beach and the difference you can see is a correct measure of your importance. Then look up at the stars, and imagine, we are on a planet, going around one sun, in one galaxy with 6 trillion other suns and there are 50 billion known galaxies.
Rule Eight...A Heart Filled with Love

Never again clutter your days or nights with so much "busi-ness" and unimportant things that you have no time to "be in love" and "live with love". This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived, with money as the only reward, is no cause for celebration. In its purified state the human heart is the hologram of the seen and unseen worlds; it is the part that reflects the whole. The heart is the point at which the individual human being is closest to the Divine. The heart is the centre of our motivation and our knowing, possessing a depth and strength of will that the personality lacks. When we say that the heart has an integrative power, we are not talking in abstract, metaphorical, or merely intellectual terms. The realization and purification of the heart both opens a doorway to the infinite, and also results in a restructuring of neural pathways, a refinement and reorganization of our entire nervous system, which allows the fullest expression of our human possibilities. We can so easily fall into the world of live to work rather than work to live. Time can rush by; we are so busy getting ready to enjoy life, that we are too tired to take advantage of it. To manage our life, for the benefit of love, we must master the power of will. This, in another language, means discipline. No more busy work. No more hiding from love. Leave time, leave space to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!

Rule Nine...Dream with Love

Live your dreams. Do what you love. Relationships start with spontaneous love, they grow through emotion, and they survive because of shared dreams. To know your dreams is the key to a loving relationship. Welcome every morning with enthusiasm for life because today is another step closer to your dreams. Look at today as a gift, a special gift from your Creator, an opportunity to celebrate love with your beloved, to do the work you love, to be in a world of love. Design your day (the night before), to make it a day of love. Be a self-starter, start the day with love. Let your first hour be your hour to set the theme of inspired living and thoughts merged with action that will echo through your entire day. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Wake to inspired living. Nature is with you and therefore the whole universe wants your day to be magnificent. Live it and share it, make yourself indispensable for your partner in fulfilling their dreams. That is the devotion of long-term love.

Rule Ten...Give with Love

Acknowledge that you are the projector, your beloved is the screen. To change how you see the world, change the film, not the screen. The true source of happiness lies within you. Don't blame or try to change others, it is a waste of time and effort. Love, peace, contentment and joy come from within you. Remember there is no happiness in being right, only blocked love and pious separateness. Reach out, fall in love, drop the barriers, share your gifts, your assets and your love. Smile. Hug. Happiness is infectious, I hope you get some and pass it on.

Rule Eleven...Live - Love - Life with Love

Learn to admire life rather than wanting to change it. Find contentment within yourself that there is really nothing to change. You, your lover, and your extended family are perfect creatures in Natures creation. Remind yourself that there is absolutely nothing to change, only something to love. Build each day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts by always looking for the two sides. There are two sides to everything, simply make a point of focusing on the positive. People become as you treat them. So acknowledge their gifts. Let the negatives take care of themselves. Remind yourself that through the power of thought, you can achieve any dream you choose. Let the dream in your heart be real.

Rule Twelve...Hold a Mystical Smile with Love

Develop the mystical smile. Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or cruel belittlement, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain cure your depression. Put life in perspective emotion is just a blast from the past; your sorrow is such a mistake of identity. Put that sadness to the wind with a smile at your predicaments. Free your mind to think clearly, become open for the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself, your arguments, your opinions and your circumstances too seriously. Always look on the bright side of life, de do de do de dum. It's really never as bad as you think. Your ego might get hurt, but they are cheap. You heart is alive. Live with Spirit.

Rule Thirteen... Go with Love

Surrender to love. Today, and every day, fall in love, again, and again and again. Give more than is expected of you. Expect no reward. The beauty of love will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable to your beloved that eventually you will become indispensable. Find their dream and help them live it. Exercise your privilege to support their journey, go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them!

Rule Fourteen...Give with Love

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they needed your approval. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. There is no greater existence than the life that gives more than it takes.

Rule Fifteen...Tiny Moments with love

Aim for the stars in your dreams and purpose. But measure your life in the little things. God is in the details. It's the little things that count. Never neglect the little things. Be mindful of the small things; that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. Act with loving-kindness. It does not matter what your lover thinks, you must think for yourself, you must do what is beautiful, loving and true, no matter what, eventually, you have to sleep with you. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things. Act with love, always.

Rule Sixteen...Begin Each Day with Love

Begin each day with your inner work -- early is best -- and with this to support you, as you move through the day, you will meet each opportunity that presents itself from your own centre. Then you establish and dance with a sense of joy, vitality and enthusiasm for life. With this in place, no activities are work any more: they are an act of love and you find yourself tireless in it because you have all the energy you require for anything. It is a question of where you begin, and of what you understand your real work to be. Try to start out with an intense love of life. then go wherever that love takes you, and do whatever you are called upon to do from there.

Rule Seventeen...A Home with Love

Always remember, that you work to enjoy the rewards of love. Always honor your hard days work in the very best way, wrapped in the warmth of your beloved. Nurture their love carefully, treasure that gift, and prioritize them over all the rest of life. And know that by this one act, your children get models, not critics. Bring your best side home, take your hat off at the door. Then, even if you have not reached your mark at all else in the world, bringing love to your family, you are the best of success.

Rule Eighteen...Choose with Love

Choose love. Make your day a step, rather than a leap toward your dreams. Whatever you do, do not fill your day with long and difficult projects, or rushing here and rushing there, feeding your ego, getting nothing done well. Create small increments that add and will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow. Life is a process the process is love. Love cannot exist in a frenetic scramble of over work, over reach, and over filled schedules. Write down your daily chores, if you must, but make it easily achievable in a healthy state of mind. Don't drag chores to tomorrow. Be patient; prioritize your attitude, your thankfulness, you love and your lover. Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you neglect your most important aspect, to love the best you can, to love this day, and rest grateful and satisfied with what you have accomplished.

Rule Nineteen...Romance with Love

Romance your beloved. Live this day as if it will be your last together. Remember tomorrow never comes. Forget yesterday's challenges. Be innocent get off the high horse. Ignore all your worries about tomorrow. This is it. Your own Jihad. Give it all you have. Make it the best day of your year. Forget Valentines Day, every day is valentines day. The saddest words you can ever hear "I wish I had my time over again ... I'd do it different" regret. The stupidest people have "do it tomorrow," on their calendar.. Act like your beloved is the most precious diamond, and if you don't act now, they'll melt. Run with it! Today! Now. Don't be a mourner get out of the corner.

Rule Twenty...At Peace with Love

Love others, but love yourself also. Go out! - the world is beautiful, adventurous; it is a challenge, it enriches. Don't lose that opportunity! Whenever the world knocks at your door and calls you, go out! Go out fearlessly - there is nothing to lose, there is everything to gain. But don't get lost. Don't go on and on and get lost. Sometimes come back home. Sometimes forget the world- those are the moments of meditation, Each day, if you want to become balanced, you should balance the outer and the inner. They should carry the same weight, so that inside you never become lopsided. This is the meaning when Zen masters say: "Walk in the river, but don't allow the water to touch your feet." "Be in the world, but don't be of the world." "Be in the world but don't allow the world to be in you. When you come home, you come home as if the whole world has disappeared."

Rule Twenty-One...Be Free with Love

Live with an open heart. Move to love. Accept the diversity of love. Don't run away, have the courage to change your consciousness around love. . Hold your love for life supreme, and devote your life to it. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your love is too precious to be sacrificed defending menial emotions, like hate, jealously, and envy. Your life is fragile, to stay open in love, guard it carefully. With an open heart we learn not to punish people for who they are. Other people can't belong to us, no matter how much we love them, our only right is to appreciate them. Don't allow support or challenge to distract you from doing what you love, being with who you love and giving what you love. Learn to free others to have their choices, without getting caught. Love is not attachment. Do not react to negativity, ignore it, let it pass you; don't even hit the ball back. Never accept criticism you didn't ask for. Opinions are the cheapest commodity on earth. Their stress is not your stress, their fears and doubts are not your doubts. Only the universe of Nature can create the magnificence of a flower, but any foolish mind can pull it to pieces So open hearted living is inspired living. You can be inspired simply by knowing that everything you feel was inside you, already. Someone just bought it out. And at least that makes you honest with yourself.

Rule Twenty-Two...Compassion with Love

Each day count your blessings to be alive and able to love. Although emotion may suggest that life is not always fair, never allow the pains, hurdles, and disappointments of the moment to overwhelm your loving attitude and plans for yourself and your beloved. What you don't appreciate, depreciates. You can never win when you wear the resentful mask of self-pity, and the bitter taste of accusation. They will certainly frighten away any opportunity for love. Never again hold a critical thought for yourself or your beloved. There is a better way.







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